Here’s a confession from a former pastor: I don’t love reading the Bible. Maybe that’s why I’m not a pastor anymore. But whenever I come across Psalm 1, I feel immense guilt because I don’t delight is not in the Word of God and I don’t meditate on it day and night. The ironies of all ironies, I actually love theology. I love reading books about Scripture, just not Scripture itself.
As I find myself in the muck of the harshest winter of my life, I wonder why I am putting pen to pad and let those with ears (or eyes) hear. I can’t explain the exhibitionistic tendency to therapize my trauma, but writing has always helped me process the pain.
In all of this, my life circumstance and my conviction to be faithful, I want to help those who might need a little inspiration. Seeing God, let alone fully experiencing Him, can be a tough (and seldom) thing and so I want to invite those to walk with me as I go back to just being.
I’ve been re-reading James K.A. Smith’s You are What You Love, and it is reminding me to recalibrate my heart so that I can build good and godly habits of imirating and practicing the way of Christ.
Finally, an explanation of this renewed foray into steeping my soul in Scripture: I used to write a weekly devotional (if you can call it that) at my previous church. I started writing for it during the start of the Pandemic but I kept up with it (at the demand of no one). While it started out as a way to edify our church members (I know, crazy), it ended up being a way to be accountable to myself to, at the very least, contemplate on the Gospel. And in those moments of pondering, I was never left disappointed.
I suck at coming up with creative titles and so i thought to borrow something from the Bible.
[6] At the end of forty days Noah opened the window of the ark that he had made [7] and sent forth a raven. It went to and fro until the waters were dried up from the earth. [8] Then he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters had subsided from the face of the ground. [9] But the dove found no place to set her foot, and she returned to him to the ark, for the waters were still on the face of the whole earth. So he put out his hand and took her and brought her into the ark with him. [10] He waited another seven days, and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark. [11] And the dove came back to him in the evening, and behold, in her mouth was a freshly plucked olive leaf. So Noah knew that the waters had subsided from the earth. [12] Then he waited another seven days and sent forth the dove, and she did not return to him anymore. Genesis 8:6–12 (ESV)
I want to try and read, ponder, and write everyday, but I can’t promise you I will. But I want to build good habits so that I can truly say that I love God and His Word. From slogging away to savoring it slowly, I hope that you can experience that yourself.
